Posts by Frazzled UBM

19

What I said to my wife

by Frazzled UBM in

all - so my wife told me she was going to the kh yesrterday.

it has been a couple of months so i was a bit disappointed but i sucked it in.

i thought about it for a while and when we had a quiet moment together i said to her: "i know you need to make an appearance every once in a while to avoid the risk of being asked to da yourself and being shunned.

Frazzled UBM

All - So my wife told me she was going to the KH yesrterday. It has been a couple of months so I was a bit disappointed but I sucked it in. I thought about it for a while and when we had a quiet moment together I said to her: "I know you need to make an appearance every once in a while to avoid the risk of being asked to DA yourself and being shunned. I know you feel you need to maintain contact for social reasons. I know the memorial is coming up and they are contacting inactive members. So I am okay with you going. Just don't let them use shame, guilt or fear to make you feel bad about yourself. M (our son) and I love you very much. I hope you are starting to realize that you don't need to worry about M and I being destroyed at Armageddon - the writers of the bible thought Armageddon would happen in their lifetimes, Henry VIII thought Armageddon would happen in his lifetime, Charles Haze Russell thought Armageddon would happen in his lifetime - the world has never had less war, crime or poverty." She stayed quiet he whole time and didn't respond but I could tell she was happy about what I had said. I think we are making progress. I thank you all for helping me to be able to behave constructively towards my wife. Cheers Fraz

206

Took my son (5 yrs) shooting for his first time.

by dazed but not confused in

i went with my neighbor to an outdoor shooting range in the pawnee national grasslands in colorado.

its about 2 hours northeast of denver.

it was awesome.

Frazzled UBM

As an Australian I can't understand this US love of firearms. They are dangerous and should not be available to adults, let alone chilren. I can think of a million better things to do with a 5 year old. Children wouldn't need to know how to handle a gun if they weren't in the house in the first place. The percentage of people who are shot dead by firearms in the US is a large multiple of any other developed country. It is a disease caused by the US constitutional guarantee of a right to bear arms, which is a historical anachronism. In a modern rational society, no one except law enforcement should have a right to bear arms.

31

Are my children in danger of being indoctrinated if I let them spend the night with their JW family?

by Butterflyleia85 in

jw
friends

so... i'm writing because i have mixed feelings.

keeping my kids safe is my goal... until they are old enough to understand and reason on their own.

my mother gave me the tapes (that i gave her back in december) of combating mind control by steven hassan, saying that she didn't have a tape player... reminded me of three years ago when i gave her crisis of conscience by ray franz and she said it's to big book to read and she's not a reader.

Frazzled UBM

Butterfly - I learnt early of the risks when I found my wfie had been reaching My Bible Storeis with my son without my knowledge. I told him they were stories and they weren't true and told him 'You tell me if Mummy starts reading this to you', which he did, when she did so after I had told her the stories and pictures were designed to make him scared and embed phobias and were unsuitable for children and so I took it away. They can't help themselves - they think they are saving the child and they do it to manage their own phobia that their grandchild will not be baptized and will be destroyed at Armageddon. They rationalize that this justifies lying and hiding what they are doing. Your parents cannot be trusted and the indoctrination uisng fear is very powerful for kids. Zero tolerance is the only way to go. Fraz

52

FW: WHAT A SISITER SACRIFICED TO SERVE JEHOVAH

by moomanchu in

witnoid e-mails goin around.. all i can say is wtf.. japan assembly experience.

date: tue, 22 jan 2008 15:58:51 -0500. .

convention experience from japan!

Frazzled UBM

No way this story is true - it is a patent fabrication - you can see that from the structure of the story. Also the Yakuza (the Japanese mafia) expect junior members to cut off fingers if they make a mistake as a sign of atonement. It is highly doubtful this would apply to a family member. It is a powerful story of sacrifice, martyrdom and reward but is nothing more than a story. So manipulative!

21

Classic repost from AlltimeJeff; recently completely - Free!

by WingCommander in

jw
friends

i wanted to give this very public shout-out and congratulations to alltimejeff, who i have come to find out had turned in his letter of da, twice, then was read out at the meeting recently.

for those not knowing, atf was a 2005 gilead graduate, bethelite, missionary.

they mean the leadership.

Frazzled UBM

Fantastic post

47

Im new and need help!

by Batman89 in

hello everybody, before i begin i just wanna say that i have really found alot of great posts on here that have been helpful forme , theres definitely alot of brilliant people here!.

i am a born in jw(24 years old) ive been baptized for 7 years and was a ministerial servant for 4 years(i am no longer one).

recently me and my parents have have woken up to ttatt(about 2 months ago).

Frazzled UBM

Batman - check out the comments on the thread started by jonza to get some perspective on the risks of being a non-JW in a relationship with a JW - it will be even worse if you are viewed as an Apostate. In your situation, as others have said, unless she indicates that she also has serious doubts, you are best to walk away. Having a break to give her a chance to think it through makes sense. Fraz

130

Involved with a JW woman

by jonza in

okay so i'm dating a born-in jw woman, she's younger than me and has no kids.

i'm a christian man whos divorced with 2 kids.

we're in love and seriously want to be together.

Frazzled UBM

jonza - if your experisnce is like mine she will get df'd for 'fornication' because she will feel impelled to confess what she has been up to with you but then will be reinstated after you get married and then she will be even more zealous and you will start to see the cult persona and she will lie to you (and herself) often through omitting to tell you things. In my view once reinstated it is harder to get them out than before because having experienced the pain and humiliation of shunning they are loathe to go through that again. But as I said to you in my PM things are going okay for me at the moment because having put advice from others on JWN into practice she has not been to the KH for two months and is putting the family first - I think because she was treated so badly at the KH and she only gets true love from me and my son at home. She has not articulated the reasons so I still don't know what she is thinking but we are making progress. I am hoping to end up like jgnat but recognise it will take a long time for her to get rid of all the WBTS baggage. But it is a huge gamble to think you will have the same experience - if not the outcome could well be that you end up divorced with her getting custody of your kids and indoctrinating them into the cult - so you need to be prepared for that possibility. Cheers Fraz

130

Involved with a JW woman

by jonza in

okay so i'm dating a born-in jw woman, she's younger than me and has no kids.

i'm a christian man whos divorced with 2 kids.

we're in love and seriously want to be together.

Frazzled UBM

jonza - don't be too swayed by the armchair experts making broad generalisations and scare mongering. I saw these comments when I first came to JWN and made some assumptions which caused me to make some mistakes in my dealings with my wife. It is not so black and white. It is not all bad by any stretch but it is challenging. Cheers Fraz

130

Involved with a JW woman

by jonza in

okay so i'm dating a born-in jw woman, she's younger than me and has no kids.

i'm a christian man whos divorced with 2 kids.

we're in love and seriously want to be together.

Frazzled UBM

Jonza - I have so much to tell you but I don't have time right now. I am married to a JW - read some of my posts to get my background. The compromises you have agreed sound great but in reality will not work. Most important is not to let your children be exposed to toxic Watchtower indoctination material - its purpose is to generate phobias (which are later used to control and manipulate) before children are old enough to sort fact from fantasy. I am not unhappy with my wife but there are lots of issues and you need to understand them. Send me a PM and I will give you more information. Don't rush into a future with this woman but I am not saying you should ditch her either. But there is a lot to weigh up. All the best Frazzled UBM (Unbelieving Mate) - there are good reasons I am Frazzled

16

Ding Dong . . .

by ABibleStudent in

h'mmm, it is almost 11:00 am on a wednesday.

i wonder if it is a jw.. to the best of my knowledge the following happened, but i did get a little excited during our intial conversation and what transpired later so i may not be recounting the facts correctly.. i went downstairs with my trusty sharpie in my pocket to answer the door.

at the door there was an older (~75 year-old) man in a suit and appeared to be in good health.

Frazzled UBM

Robert - I also find it almost impossible to maintain my cool when having discussions with Witnesses who knock on the door - I think it is a function of the way they talk over you and change the subject as soon as you start to make any headway. Good effort though on being a thoughtful neighbour and picking up the memorial invitations. Fraz